.

  You said it. I pushed you to your limits, and for the first time, you said it...

  Being away from you isn't as easy as I thought it will be. I used to see you more than 4 days a week, and this time, I had to survive not seeing you for 23 days. It really make a difference not seeing you, not being able to be in your embrace. I have my insecurities, my disagreement in your opinions, not being able to see you just make it a whole lot worst. And the day I've been afraid of came, you snapped.

  It broke my heart. But it got me thinking. Maybe, this is for the better. You deserve better. And I can finally leave this world in peace, without any regrets.

  I felt persistent in this decision, I was tired, I wanted to give up everything. But the thought of not having you by my side anymore, tears me apart. How am I suppose to go through life alone? How am I suppose to start over again? Am I gonna fall back into the old path again? When I saw your texts, I was being selfish, I want to have you by my side, so I wouldn't be alone. I selfishly kept you by my side. I was just thinking about me, not you.

  Today, I thought about you. I thought about how tiring it is to put up with my temper, my unreasonable arguments, my words that cuts like a knife. I wouldn't want to. And, I don't know why you're putting up to all these, that actually hurts you. Three months had past, our honeymoon period is gone. It got me thinking, are you happy now? I asked you if you were, and you told me as long as I am, you are too. I know, I am not thinking too much, you are not really happy, in this relationship, in these days. I wanted tk backup myself with more concrete proof to make myself believe in this tragedy. I went to look at your social platforms. Back in the days, you used to post up our sweet moments, photos etc. Recently, there are only disappointment, sadness and anger. I know, I caused this. It really pains me to dwell on the thought that, you don't...capture our moment anymore. Or maybe, there isn't any precious ones anymore. But, I gotta reflect, and I did.

  At this point, things are gonna be accelerated fast if things heats up between us. And sad to say, I'm afraid we might end up seperated in time to come. I hope it's just me being all pessimistic, but I just got a strong instinct that this, is the beginning of the end. I know if I want to change, I might just salvage this, and turn it better. But how long can I be nice? How long will it take for me to get things back to it were? I am unsure. I am unsure about our future. Things are bound to change when we get together for a period of time. I know, but I hope it didn't.

  Today, I thought, I can no longer bring you happiness. I can no longer be someone you are glad to have. In these three months, I gotta admit I led you into thinking I am the worst bitch you have ever met. And I admit, I am not good at relationships. All kinds of relationships. And today, I tried to be nice. I tried not to be a bitch and magnify all the little unsatisfactory I have for you. I told myself to understand, to be reasonable, to tell you how I feel instead of raging without telling. Because I am guilty. I am guilty that I just realise, I might not be the one for you. I have strong feelings, strong dependence on you. But I gotta say, we don't agree on much things, and in fact, we are quite different.

  I will try, as long as I can. As long as I think it's working. If not, I think it'll be a wiser choice to let you go. Because if I can't bring you happiness, will do I still want to force you to stay by my side. I can't be selfish anymore. If I love you, I gotta let you go...

  I'm sorry, I'm not perfect.
  I'm sorry, I failed to bring you happiness.