.

27.1.15

used to.

I used to anticipate your text messages, our long, deep and yet meaningless conversations. I used to, foolishly smile to my phone, not because of the words, but the thought of you. And when my emotions starts to sink in, those anticipation, excitement, and joy seems to diminished. Reading your text messages with a smile on my face but yet with a tinge of unhappiness and questions in my heart. The thought of you became even more questions surfacing in my head. I hate how my emotions get in the way. I hate how these long conversations are still on going but yet I'm not feeling it right anymore. I'm constantly stuck between just let nature take its course and playing mind games with you. I hate how I can't seem to put my questions across to you, hoping for some answers. Maybe, not knowing is a better solution after all. I'll just have to convince myself that what I have now is what it all matters. Withdrawing my emotions just to keep it going. And till the day you walked out of my door, it wouldn't hurt that much as I thought it would be. Because, you were never meant to stay.

I won't hope anymore. (:

posted by Meishi. # 9:39 AM

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27.1.15

used to.

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